


Mines Alone 'til The End

by StinkKat001



Category: Marble Hornets, Slender Man Mythos
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Kissing, Bad Decisions, Bad Parenting, Bad Touch, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Body Dysphoria, Brutal Murder, Brutality, But they are still important characters, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating, Conversations, Crushes, Dark, Dark Character, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fear, Fear of Discovery, FtM Tim, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Gross, Gross House and It Smells Terrible, Heavy Angst, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Violence, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Health Issues, Mind Games, Mind Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Murder, Night Terrors, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, One-Sided Attraction, Out of Character, Past Relationship(s), Plot Twists, Relationship Advice, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Relationship Study, Secrets, Self-Esteem Issues, Sensitive themes, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, Shock, Situational Humiliation, Slenderverse, Slow Building Story, Slow Burn, Sorry if it seems like that and if it troubles you, Supportive Alex, The Operator/Slenderman doesn't exist persay, Touching, Touchy-Feely, Trans Character, Trans Timothy "Tim" Wright, Trust Issues, Unconsciousness, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Obsessions, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, Violent Thoughts, dark themes, tense conversations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:53:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StinkKat001/pseuds/StinkKat001
Summary: Tim found soothing comfort in Alex's hold whereas he never felt anything in his supposed to be devoted lover; Jay's own who cheated on him with his deceitful best friend meant to be by his side during hard times. Proven terribly otherwise as what was done is over where still it made him feel extremely as well, suddenly conscious over his self-worth yet the taller, gangly man reassured his painful worries by whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Gentle, caring and respective words being uttered carefully with such controlled ease made him feel in a sudden instant butterfly flapping their wings in his stomach doing backflips every time. Almost to the point it was sickening however, it's just first, his mind trying to get over the fact he’s been cheated on while his body dealt with this new feeling he never gotten before so, no worries, right. This right here when alone with the other man, not his boyfriend he somehow felt more safer almost to where he’s able to be content in staying over for just a night to sleep off the pain of rejection."I thought you were his forever but now you're truly mines alone"





	1. Friday; Happy Anniversary

The dead of night swiftly in an instant similarly to a sudden flash of light belonging to a camera turned to morning as the bright, shining star in the sky shone its rays down below to any unsuspecting figure once asleep. It blinding lights directed itself mostly to an apartment most of all past through a dull blue curtain clad window opened only by a small crack to allow some warmth from outside to come in. Soon enough what was heard besides the chirping to birds, soft chattering and the cool breeze blowing past through the thin curtains towards a curled-up figure hidden a little bit underneath a few equally as flimsy blankets. A disgruntled whimper came about where the big lump scrunched up immediately in reaction to the sun trying to remain asleep for a touch longer. Yet no matter how much the light was ignored by the one emitting annoyed grunt noises while tossing and turning it was described to be of no use to get any more remaining sleep. 

All the while time slowly came past before anything was done besides the constant tossing then turning back and forth wasn't helping as everything laying on top the figure was heating up the bed to something a bit uncomfortable. The sun was surely making sure no further precious light was wasted so shamefully like this where nothing was being done on such an important day supposedly meant to celebrate something special between two people. How it couldn't be forgotten so carelessly due to the grogginess to a man begrudgingly getting his lazy rear out from the safe, comfy confines that was his bed. It didn't help that there was an uncomfortable feeling settling in the sleepy man's stomach downwards to where it hurts mostly was the groin area that was a touchy subject. A slightly shaking hand owned by him, not anyone else's own who had that comforting even if hesitant touch moves downwards to the area giving him the most bothersome sensation leaving another groan to leave parted lips. Nothing seemed to be helping the issue any better so, ignoring it to the best ability had seemed to be the only option for the time being. 

Nobody who didn't know him personally shouldn't know what the current issues that was troubling him as it was simply none of their business yet anyone with half a mind understood somewhat to a degree what's going on. Yet, like previously stated it over again in his head this; what he's dealing with making him feel ill wasn't a topic needing to be talked about in further detail as the man slowly making his way far from his bed desiring to be slept on once again can detest to when getting nosy assholes. Now standing in still silence in front the closet the doors to them slides up with a squeak to the sides so, the man trying to keep awake can look for something to wear for the day. Of course, like everyone in his close circle of friends often tease him on and on, he grabs ahold to first, the ripped jeans from use not a cringy fashion sense along with his red black striped flannel. It was undeniably his most comfortable attire chosen from his various other outfits that were okay given that most were aging due to over use as he with a free hand ready grip securely onto a fallen item laid on the floor. 

First before getting dressed in the clothes he chosen which was flung over a wooden chair near a bedside table besides his bed the lazily discarded item from earlier on laid on his other arm needed to be done. It was in the color of black and looking uncomfortably small in comparison to him for anyone else to see it however, he's thankfully able to wear it with the exception to the sweat annoyingly beading off from his forehead in the end. Eventually tugging it down his chest it felt like it was suffocating him, he heaves out a relieved sigh but it was cut short when running his hands to his gut protruding out a bit from the waist line similar to like an overbaked muffin top for example. When dressed with the jeans making him feel the need to rip them off due to the overwhelming tightness it had over him that even with his favorite flannel making sure to point out every fat roll, he obtained over the years due to the medication. Taken those meds since he was a young child, he needed to take to control the already issues he had for something imaginary yet nowadays he takes added ones for other reasons persistent in feeling wrong in his own body. 

Once finishing up dressing himself while dealt with a hand holding onto everything he attempts to keep in the backburner to his mind, he was interrupted by a feeling to having a goopy, slicky and warm substance starting to seep down his quivering thighs. The only thing to get the short, soft gutted man previously feeling out of it to immediately pale at the realization to what's going on. All that can be done right now for the time being was to quickly excuse himself for a quick second although no one was there bothering him to use the bathroom for a rather important yet at the same time disgusting manner. An unneeded habit he done if indeed someone else was there yet he lived alone in the dinky apartment until he got enough courage in having a 'roommate' living there with him. Back then when this sort of thing happened especially at the production of Marble Hornets which thank god was finished everyone else in the place, he often felt closed in was confused at first by the suddenness to first his words then most of all his erratic actions. In a blink of an eyelash thankfully it was something he done only one time for a week per month so, nobody was any wiser to what's going on within his aching body.   
Scurrying to the bathroom he basically trips over his feet on to the toilet and when he was sitting down, he tugs both his pants and tight fitted boxers down, "... Shit. Please not right now of all times...?!?" Only thing he says when gazing with wide eyes at his undergarments caked with a horrible bloody mess where he ran a hand through his disheveled darks locks. 

A 'man' known as Tim understood from the get go he wasn't normal, he never was and won't ever be no matter how much he tried to show it. What he was isn't being a 'real' man in terms to what society nowadays puts on people like him so, to not get any pressured ridicule he simply hides who he once was from the world. As someone who came from a not so great past spending most of his childhood in and out of hospitals due to, he what being 'stalked' by an imaginary force there wouldn't be anyone taking him any bit seriously here. They would've thought he was an even bigger freak show and they did when he wasn't feeling all that good in his previous feminine skin to them at a time, he felt a bit confident the usual. At the time he also, came out in a different way, he expressed to everyone that would listen that he wasn't straight; something else entirely he still needed to work on which in itself is another confusing topic but that's what he got when wanting to be a man then a respectable meek woman. Yeah, he wasn't born a guy in the first place to his utter and total disdain but rather a person he wasn't where he was a disturbed little girl with an unknown illness plaguing the mind. 

It was a hard feat to do which was to be open of his desire to be a man then what he was originally born as at the time yet surprisingly he managed to tell his parents first on it and who he wanted to be to the world. Seventeen or was he eighteen when he told them, maybe eighteen as he knew he was at the age in order to get the needed treatment to lessen any more unwilling changes. When spilling out his well-kept secret to his parents happened in what he remembers to be in the living room though in his utter shock in the past however, now not so much they weren't exactly very happy about the change to their daughter turned son. The end result had him soon after living on his own for the most part since what his supposedly loving parents mostly his mother told him that they just needed the extra time to think over it. Although, he understood completely from then on over the years that their shock growing into in his opinion not openly said by them disgust from what was told in meant reassurance he knew they didn't fully accept him. 

Sometimes most likely every day it was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that his own flesh and blood didn't like him for who he was trying to be just for his happiness as they appeared to be simply stubborn. Will they really want him to be who he wasn't which was a woman forced to be something he despised that cause him to dip into a painstakingly long depression period. It did hurt him deep down in the core in those rare occasions when he's stuck in a predicament that he instead of deciding to show his emotions to the world he bottles them up. Emotions like sadness or anything else in particular shouldn't be expressed so, openly at least or he'll get described by people even some who were close to him like his friends or romantic partner as too feminine for their liking. A description telling everyone he was nothing more than a bitchy slut to be fucked around with then a true man for someone to ever love that with the first description he never wanted to ever be identified as ever again. 

As his parents gotten over the fact to an extent, they had now a son there was still tension in the air mostly with his mother since his father barely acknowledged his presence then rarely tried to get him to change his mind. His dear old mother attempted to be supportive to his choices like being there to every single appointment had to help through the process in becoming a true man although when she did come it was like having an unmoving, unfeeling statue with him. 'Are you sure this is what you want? This is nothing you can change back to down the road? You'll be stuck like that for the rest of your life?' His mother asked him once at the doctor's office on a foggy fall day with his response given to her was a simple shrug and slow nod that he really did wanted this where he wasn't going to pull away. Faint memories appear in his mind on how she would move a perfectly manicured hand down from his shoulders to his back in a way to be comforting to his growing nerves getting the better of him. It was a decent memory though it was like the others pushed back into his mind to never be dealt with again unless at a later time he wanted to handle his childhood mostly with his crying even if 'know it all' psychologist thinking she knew what's wrong with him and trying her very best in helping the healing process. 

Currently in the bathroom for however long where he during his spacing out from the discovery to an embarrassing incident he seemingly appears to slept through it in the night, he shook his head from anything being a bother. Even if he was horrified by the ordeal the man manages to slip out from his pants then his boxers to which the stained undergarments into the nearest trashcan while silently cursing to himself on how he forgot such a thing. So, during his scolding he takes a swift exit from the bathroom to grab a new fresh pair of underwear then an item to lessen the disaster from the last one. It was so hideously gross to witness the way he was so oblivious to his body's natural happenings that he wanted to make this whole thing to go quickly through it with no more troubles. In the end he weakly with a noticeable limp exits as he soon plops on down tiredly onto his bed, no longer comforted by it anymore when rubbing his legs together. 

Suddenly a buzzing noise rings in his line of hearing and it soothes whatever pains in the pit to his stomach by a little. Noise came from his phone placed on the small table next to him charged near to his bed for easy grabbing when the day gotten busy. The phone was taken into his hold a mere millisecond later and he glances down at the screen to see it was only a notification that well, his time of the month starts today. An irritated groan leaves him as he rolled his eyes over the fact it was this that got his attention and not by a text belonging to his lover. May be too early for the other man to be awake at such an ungodly hour anyways yet he wanted to show his partner he cared at any time when sending out a quick, simple text under his preferred nickname he given which came from a particular bird. 

_Moring Jaybird_

Then the cheap old phone was put back down on the bedside table, he remembered something clearly important needing to be said to his lover.

 _Happy Anniversary. Love you_

A day to celebrate his relationship with the other man that spanned surprisingly spanned over a full year to his shock. 

'Why isn't he texting back?' Although he knew his partner was a night owl staying up at until the crack of dawn, he kind of expected a somewhat quick response back, _'I shouldn't worry about him? Maybe he's exhausted from one of his late nighters? That's why he isn't texting back... Right?'_

However, his worries were getting the better of him as he was planning on spending some time with the other man who was yet to reply. A few hours came around with no reply back on his phone and he was getting worry on the fact something was wrong. It wasn't too much to a big surprise when he takes a leave from his apartment towards his car parked outside waiting for him. Even if he may seem like a worry wart in terms to fretting over the small things in life though this was a touch more important as this was his partner after all as he enters the driver's seat. At this time of day, he would've gotten anything from the only and his first ever love who beforehand bought the other's favorite flowers but he wasn't getting what he was craving for which was some attention and affection in his numbing, aching predicament. 

When the drive ended to his destined destination which was his partner's place, he was now standing stiffly at the door. Unable to move he most likely looks like a total weird idiot by the neighbors yet he once again with his previous issues shake his head. His hand not holding onto the bouquet of colorful flowers handpicked from his garden was raised up in planning to knock at the wooden surface. Only to alert his love he was there yet when he pressed his hand at the door it slowly opens with ease like it was unlocked which was odd for the man he cherished to do since anyone a stranger perhaps can easily do something unthinkable. An emotion he likes to keep back under the façade everything was fine was finally peeking through the newly cracking to said protective shield. 

"... J-Jay? Jay, are you there...?" He meekly called out for his lover once opening the door fully and shyly walking into the living room to the house. 

"Shush. I a-ah, think I hear something..." A hushed voice comes nearby to where the nervous man stood and it came from his lover's bedroom, "... Be quiet, please?" 

What was going on the other side to his love's room was confusing yet continuing to be worrisome upon hearing another familiar voice to his best friend speak up. 

"... I'll be quiet as a mouse. Don't worry, baby..." 

In silence to not alert the ones inside to his unexpected presence, he pushes the bedroom door open slowly until it was completely open. What he saw with wide eyes was something that nobody should ever see their partner do when they're not around. The man he loves with his heart was in bed like he overslept but was with another man, Brian all snuggled up like they were the lovers. During their cuddling it was already so intimate as neither men were wearing anything underneath the blankets sucking face with one another like their lives were depending on it. Obvious to what was occurring with his partner and his best friend the man found this whole thing out that he must've been deserving to this as he stands there with an unreadable expression. 

A snap to his shock came and it turned into wrath, jealousness and overall sadness along with noticing the two acknowledging they were caught red handed by him. They didn't seem to care whatsoever in the slights if he was right there in the bedroom watching with fury as they were doing something so unthinkable. "... W-what are you guys doing?! Jay, w-why?! Why would you do this to me?! I thought you loved me...?!" He sees himself yelling with no control as the men immediately in a shocking surprise when sitting up with dumbstruck written all over their paled faces. Pushing away from the shaggy, blond haired male sat next to him Tim's beloved partner described to be his precious jaybird actually had the nerve to start the waterworks like the man was the intended victim. Sickness was then boiling over from head toe in the shortest man's gut and with his 'natural' bodily process was clearly not helping the matters in making his hormones haywire. 

"Timmy bear... This isn't what it looks like, I swear..." Balling up his fists until the knuckles were pasty white, he looks away from the pair in bed. 

Eventually he hears his once closest best friend he can know was his only one for the longest time speak up with a nervous smile, "... He's right, Tim. You know we wouldn't do anything to hurt you. We care about y-" 

"Oh, shut up?! Then do tell me what does it even look like to you!? For me it appears that my boyfriend who thought he love me which I gave everything to you is cheating on my damn best friend?! A friend that was meant to be there for me as well through hard times but no?! He's fucking you instead?! Is he giving you what I fucking can't?! Is that why you're doing this to me, Jay?!" Tears as now beginning to stream down his red, puffy cheeks as he with difficulty tried to restrain the urge to punch something or likely someone, "... I tried my best to be what you wanted from me?! Now I understand that I'm nothing to you or him?! All I am was some pitied fool to be used like a tool then discarded when finding something supposedly better, huh!?" 

What a fool he was as he blindly makes his way from the bedroom almost tripping over his feet making his way to his car. All the while he can hear the other men's voices calling out to him saying he should stay and hear them out yet he ignores them upon walking down the stairs to the front porch. It took him to roughly shove his once kind hearted lover away from him onto the cold pavement to the driveway and basically sucker punched his best friend in the jaw before he slammed the car door in their grief-stricken faces. '... Never ever talk to me again or I'll make sure to fucking murder you on the damn spot, got me...?!' Although it was a dangerous threat to say he knows he said without thought but somewhat means it to the very core and they both were terrified by his sudden, more intimidating change. Face was a beat red once he stares up at the car mirror and from that disgusted display, he turns on the engine then in a rush drives away. 

The flowers he intended to give were trampled over by his car as he drives off to somewhere even if he didn't know at the moment. Flashes of his loved one being in bed with his best friend possibly doing the naughty with each other mad him gag. Difficult to resist the urge to keep the horrified disgust down his throat since it causes him to get into a car accident though with his blurry, tear stained eyes was leaving nothing to lessen the erratic driving he done on the road. Soon he had to pull over at some cheap fast food restaurant where he not so surprisingly got something to eat in order to lessen the heartache. His heart was pounding heavily with quickness and pain, he couldn't breathe properly from as he heaves after scarfing down the greasy food. 

When eating away his sorrows the phone he left in the cup holder began to buzz away where he thought it was now his ex-boyfriend trying hopelessly to reconcile with him. Not going to happen any time soon, he ponders as he with a free, less grease covered hand picks his phone up. The man like he can hopefully do much better anyways where there must be someone wanting him for who he was without himself having to hide. Nothing could wipe off the unknowing number on his phone texting him with a simple response of 'hey' where he furrows his brows together in confusion. An unknown number was trying to start up a conversation with him and he was about to delete it to shamefully go back to comfort eating however the person on the other line replies again. 

_Its Alex here. Long time, no see, I suppose. Been busy and new phone by the way. I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me today if you don't mind, that is?_

Someone he can actually talk to who didn't ever hurt his feelings with the exceptions to being on set to the college movie yet he long forgiven the man for it. 

_Hey. Yeah. It has been a while since I've seen you and sure I don't mind hanging out. Be something to get my mind off things happening recently_

_Sorry to be nosy here but is something wrong? You never really the one to be so willing to hang out with someone like myself? Especially back then when we hated each other's guts?_

Seems like the man can read off the bat even if not seeing face to face with him, he was beyond upset while stuffing food into his mouth upon texting back. 

_I did hate your guts back then. So, fucking much but I just had a rough day today and right now, hanging out with someone will help. Not to use this hangout to use you as a counselor or anything for my feelings_

Texts go back and forth in the fast food's parking lot; he babbles incoherently even on the phone on to the other man about hos his boyfriend was cheating on him with his very own best friend. Somehow, he manages to crack a small smile and an embarrassing snort after seeing from the man replying back in how the pair was just a bunch of assholes who didn't deserve someone like him. Now when he's less stressed out and racked with emotions, he didn't feel for the longest times he desires to be with the once dictator to the old movie. After sending out that last text telling he was going to be there soon he without much thought drives to the man who had literally disappeared from the face of this earth's home which changed from the last. Thankfully given the direction from the texts had with the old director, he manages to stumble out from his car over to what had to be the most secluded imaginable home around where there was no one else in sight. Nothing but nature was surrounding him and to a point he felt unsettled by it even then he can chalk it up to what happened earlier that day. 

_I'm here. Hopefully at the right place_

Quickly he feels the buzzing to the phone in his hand with the blinding lights making him wince a bit, _Cool. You're at the right place as I see you. Just open the door and walk on in_

Following the simple order given to him, he opens the front door slowly and walks in to see nothing but pitch darkness for a split second. From there he gulps down a lump settling uncomfortably in his throat as he swallows it when continuing to walk in the dark. Soon he begins to call out for the other man with no response given yet it wasn't too long in his relief as the light bulb above his head turned on. The light depicted the taller man sitting down on a couch waiting for him with cups full of a dark liquid all set up in what appears to be the living room in a cozy home settling a nice warm feeling within him. In a moment he sat down next to the man with shaking hands fisted up in his pants as he takes in a deep breath before responding to what was on top of his head. 

"... It's really been a while since we've seen one another and I think the last time was at the end to Marble Hornets...?" Man, who had invited him out the blue to his house, really before him softly chuckles while brushing long, bony fingers through his hair. 

"I know. Now I can see how badly cheesy it was. Somehow, I couldn't see it back then" Replied by the director giving him a genuine smile until it quirks in to a frown, "... Yet that's not what you're here for exactly is it? Want to talk about it some more if you wish?" 

"Nothing to really talk about. Jay was cheating on me with Brian. I really did think he loved me. However, I guess that was just a lie like everything else... Kind of deserved it for the most part" 

The frown on Alex deepened when turning around to face the man practically seeping out from the pores a heavy dose of self-confidence issues, "It's not your fault, Tim. Never was as it was theirs's from the very start. At least, if Jay didn't reciprocate the same feelings as you, he should've said something instead of going behind your back like this? Would've hurts, yes from the heartbreak... I dealt with it similarly in my split with Amy leaving me for Jessica but at least she told me she didn't love me. He didn't and that was an ass move on his and Brian's part" A exasperated sigh came from the man ranting on the matter since he just care for Tim's well-being on a more personal manner as he hands the still upset man the cup laid out on the table. 

"... I know it isn't. Still I have that nagging feeling it is and I should've been more truthful with the man like how I wasn't being a real man for him...?" Tim feels his eyes remaining puffy and pink start to tear up with ugly, fat tears as he watches the other man inching closer, "... Maybe if I wasn't like this from the start, h-he. He would want to still be with me, not with Brian who is everything I'm not... A real ma-" 

Instantly he was pulled into a bear hug by Alex currently comforting his ugly, pitiful self-threatening to settle deep into a panic attack, "It's not your fault. Never was and never will be. I'm right here for you. Always" 

Tim found soothing comfort in Alex's hold whereas he never felt anything in his supposed to be devoted lover; Jay's own who cheated on him with his deceitful best friend meant to be by his side during hard times. Proven terribly otherwise as what was done is over where still it made him feel extremely as well, suddenly conscious over his self-worth yet the taller, gangly man reassured his painful worries by whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Gentle, caring and respective words being uttered carefully with such controlled ease made him feel in a sudden instant butterfly flapping their wings in his stomach doing backflips every time. Almost to the point it was sickening however, it's just first, his mind trying to get over the fact he's been cheated on while his body dealt with this new feeling he never gotten before so, no worries, right. This right here when alone with the other man, not his boyfriend he somehow felt more safer almost to where he's able to be content in staying over for just a night to sleep off the pain of rejection. 

A balled-up fist though less tense then before softly rubs at is eyes yet not to wipe the tears away but the exhaustion, "... I. I d-don't feel too good, man..." Hiccupping softly Tim looks over to see the other man caringly smile down at him, "...I think I should be heading home by now. It's getting rather late out there, dontcha think...?" Yet he wouldn't want to force the man to further deal with his crazy self any longer than necessary and when he was about to stand up from his seat his legs were like jelly along with the man pushing him back down onto the couch.

Cup in his hand half way finished done its trick in making him feel a lot calmer than previous as he settled into the sofa. During that he kept squirming a bit all the while the glasses adorned man brushes cool fingers through his hair. A touch soothing all the irritating nicks in his body where he leans into the touch with little to no thought process in his actions like a puppet doll. "Not too late but I wouldn't want you driving in such a state of mind like this? Why don't you stay over here with me until you're a little calmer, okay? Like old times before I gone as you guys quote I batshit crazy" All the while the shorter male was gently with little force on to the couch where his back was pressed against the soft cushions. Eyelids began to drop and he was unable to keep them awake for too long so, he closes them and began to drift off into a dreamless slumber while feeling something a little wet warmly soft on his forehead until it was swiftly pulled away.


	2. Saturday; Dreamless Pleasures

In Alex’s eyes it would be considered extremely weird to be staring down at the sleeping figure before him as he slowly pulled away from the other for a small period before returning back to gazing at the man below. Soon from hearing the sleepy gurgled whimpers by the dark-haired male, worry came then a hand goes ahead to brushing through the messy thick locks in order to calm the sleeping man from whatever was being troublesome in the dreamed state to the man. Appearance alone the taller man can tell off the bat Tim was struggling weakly with something that was overwhelming the body and mind where it began to uncontrollably yet thankfully not too badly shake. Eventually moving down from the soft, fluffy hair soft flesh was felt instantly when the old college director places a gentle hand caressing it with extreme ease to make sure the other man wouldn’t wake to see it. Humiliation would easily wash over his usual collected face if the other man were to wake and watch himself being touched in a manner it can easily be told off as creepy, not like Alex wanted it to be between them. 

His hand must’ve accidentally grazed against a sensitive part to the man and a small smile creeps on his face, “... H-hngh...” The smile stayed plastered while continuing to make sure the other was really comfortable because of him.

Although it was weirdly unusual for him to watch how people slept though it was much odder from Alex’s perspective in what can be deemed the most uncomfortable position ever known to a human being as the short, soft and hairy man was slung like a doll on the couch set up lazily like a bed for other. However, for the taller man taking his quick leave from the seat he sat on for the longest time at the edge to the couch with the mostly empty cup in hand he heads towards the kitchen. Then sits at the table by himself watching again as the other sleep like a baby, he couldn’t help to coo at the adorable sight. His own cup was barely sipped at all when  beforehand having dumped both of the cups with the dark, somewhat by now putrid smelling liquid down the drain of the yellowish discolored sink. Maybe he should ease up on his little muscle/ brain relaxation concoction the next time he made the drink for anyone since it took a lot from his friend humorously knocked out in the next room. Over all it did the trick in calming the highly uncontrolled upset nature that caused a very bad after taste continuing to linger in his mouth, no matter how much he tries to drink it away with strong liquor held in the cupboards.

_ ‘He looks so sweet when sleeping? How I would love it if he were to sleep with m...’ _ Alex replies in his head to himself when slowly cutting his gaze away once a blinding flash made him rapidly blink. It was nothing but possibly the lights from the bulb above hitting him just right in the lenses to his glasses. A hand pinches the bridge of his nose as his mind wandered to his old friends he hadn’t seen since college ended for him. ‘... Though it's so sad Jay and Brian did such an act against him. Ruin almost what is such a sweet soul that should never deserve any harm in the first place? What I’ll do for him...’ Then breaking his thought process was the kettle he had propped on the stove back in the kitchen boiling way too loudly for his liking which can wake the sleeping man on the couch from his deserving slumber.  _ ‘... Anything for his pretty little self. No longer would he have to worry about them further humiliating him. I’ll make sure of it just for him...’ _ Fingers twirled then wrapped around one another where Alex returns his gaze back at the other man who rolled over onto his side, back facing him sadly so, he could no longer see the gruff yet perfectly  entrancing face. 

The way his mind was acting without his consent currently was extremely conflicting as what he was imagining shouldn’t be even dared to be thought upon in a romantic manner like he was having since the conversation being had between him and Tim, he had no part to it unless being a shoulder to cry on was a ‘part’ in this game of love. Eyes squinted in to what was the harshest glare imaginable which he directed it at no living person only at the decaying wood walls around him with an always underlying smell to it no one except him knows the source to it though he gotten disturbingly used to it. Jay, Brian, and anyone else who done these shitty things to Tim didn’t deserve anything like comparison or second chances glancing their revolting ways even if he could see the man on the gross couch can be a touch too forgiving to the horrible cheats in life. Such a bad quality to have where he saw it was literally not helping the man getting shit on constantly that he can see was a truthful friend in the end whereas anyone else in the past meant nothing to him anymore. Easily he can admit the person he should ever keep close to him to the hip basically was Tim even if they hadn’t seen one another for so long, neither one can be hurt ever again. 

“What am I going to do now? What should I even do anyways?” He asked even knowing that nobody was there in the cabin to help him through a rough time, he felt so horrible for the sleepy man. Nothing he can do be able to settle whatever the other was feeling currently at the moment even if fast asleep tossing and turning to rid of the heart clenching feeling. The gangly, tall man will make sure he’ll be the one to be the support needed for Tim in one way or another if the other may not like it.  _ ‘If I do what I’m thinking it possibly won’t end very well for him. I wouldn’t want to further hurt him unintentionally but I got to do something to  _ _ make him _ _ feel better one way or another?’ _ His way in helping the ones in need may seem obviously illogical and simply confusing to many who’ll be watching curiously with some concern at the sidelines. No one else’s business but only just the pair right now all alone in the small shack then an actual home settled cozily in the woods.

_ ‘This here can’t stay like this forever, you know’ _

In the corner of his eye, Alex thought he saw a shadowy figure whispering near to his ear yet stayed back in the corner to the house with exaggerated limbs.

_ ‘He’ll be awake soon wanting to go back home. The state he’s in it won’t be a big surprise if he goes running, literally back in the other man’s arms again? You got to do something... Quickly before  _ _ it's _ _ too late’ _

They told him in an overly warm whisper that sent all the horrible shivers to travel down his spine that stiffened up from so, he couldn’t  dare try to figure it all out on his own. Who it even was when turning his head to the side where he saw that nothing was there with him beside the sleeping man on the worn down, stained couch with unknown substances, he only knew what it was as eerie silence came  over. His mind then began to wonder off once again for another time now without his control, he was off thinking on things he knows aren’t appropriate or morally right in many other’s eyes. The way Tim looked besides to it appearing so awestricken cute like previously mentioned there was another feeling bubbling up within. How even when asleep the shorter male was struggling to breathe properly only by probably the heartache to having a love one cheat on him so horribly and with a friend nonetheless must’ve hurt. Something had to be done about this as Alex continued on thinking on how he’ll make sure the dozing man would never be hurt again even if it may or may not entirely include maiming others in the process. 

_ ‘... I. I need to do something, right now...’ _

Whispers came at full force and it became deafening as Alex lets out a disgruntled groan when having first crossed his legs in hopes to rid the problem, not that it worked once awkwardly standing up from the wooden chair. It creaks way too loudly in his departure he had to hold onto it until it stops with the annoyingly high-pitched sound just in case, he was to wake the other from his slumber. The kitchen he was in was extremely old fashioned like the rest of the house was and he always from his first step in felt at home yet without another soul near made it have a negative in him being unbearably lonely. In a flash he made his way to the spacious living room his hastily made moving came to an end when swooning over literally from the man curled up cutely in a ball. In the end to the couch was the man all cuddled up with the small pillows as it was an actual living person hugging back though for Alex, he desperately wanted that pillow to be him.

_ ‘... Out cold and fast asleep after all. He won’t know if I were to do something with him...’ _

Once having exited quickly from the kitchen where he left the impolite voices behind to continue on rambling on about things, he acknowledges was horrible to think on yet later knew it was best to ignore for now, he looms quietly over the sleeping figure. They always tend to speak on how he was a weak excuse of a man who should just take what he thought was meant to be his from the start. Morally he wouldn’t take someone’s trust mostly Tim’s own then use it for his benefit then to rudely wipe it across his ass with little to no care given to the man so grief stricken. When in the living room standing in front of the couch Alex then goes ahead in crouching down to the other’s eye level and with a hand reaching forward, he turns the man around to face him so, he can get a better look. His breath already so shaken up was in an instant taken away as he feels himself from head to toe warming up with all these unknown feelings swelling in his chest. 

_ ‘... I’m only worried about him, that’s all since he has been dealt with a horrendous heart break? This... What I’m doing is only for the best and coming from good intentions mostly, I know this is for good. Just look at him, though, he’s adorable and isn’t meant for this cruel world surrounding us...’ _

What taken him aback was the shear, breathtaking beauty to Tim but as well instead pitifully enough the stains of tears having once streamed down similar to a waterfall down puffy, still as ever reddened cheeks. It wasn’t an ideal look for him to see which he hated to even take a peek down at it when rubbing a thumb across the man’s said cheek when pinching softly to get some type of reaction. The man he poured all his love to was meant to appear gracious although sometimes stumbling unsure and uncertain if he were to hurt anyone’s feelings by total accident. No way should the gorgeous appearance God had ever given the luxury in giving to anyone especially so by the shorter male be ruined so  torturously by ones who can easily not give a shit. As he didn’t get one a relieved sigh escapes into the tense room where Alex stayed perfectly still for a long period until leaning closer even if he knew to the man’s personal space bubble, he’s breaking now in order to feel better. 

_ ‘... How he’s so badly hurting because of them and their devious ways. It makes me want to really hurt someone but I know I can’t do another horrible thing to him. He deserves everything so good and wonderful, not the horrible and I’ll make sure of it. Such a pretty thing like him shouldn’t be dealt with in this fashion....’ _

Even although this may be classified as dubious, he couldn’t help himself from having his bony finger circle around the nape of the other man’s neck. Only this was just the front layer of what Alex wanted to do with the softer male who caught his attention since day one but couldn’t do anything. It started off as a naïve, school girl crush he had over this man here laying in his old couch in this cabin he had stayed in for a while without anyone noticing to his sneaky presence. The crush he had turned into something much more then something many like his psychologist said was a simple old infatuation with an old friend and actor to his shitty college film wasn’t in the slightest healthy. Almost to where he was neglecting his health; mental and body wise both along with his relationships between family, friends down to his romantic partner, not knowing to the cause but seeing how he was slowly deteriorating because of his slight obsession with  something he couldn’t have in the past.

_ ‘... Oh, how I wanted to be with him for so long but life just has to shit on my parade every time with the form of Jay taking him away from me. Now he doesn’t have that anymore with the other ‘charismatic’ parasite sucking the happiness out from his life. I’ll make absolute sure; I swear on it that he will never get hurt again. What I do be from the best intentions for him, he should know that when I show him how I’m so much better. Be the perfect partner he ever had in his life and he’ll love every single moment spent with me...’ _

Creepy as hell, Alex knows this and ignores it when he kept up with brushing the thick, dark locks from the other’s face so, he can get a better look. All that he was doing in his eyes was protecting the man before him from any further unneeded harm whereas he makes sure it won’t happen ever. Then before long he plants a kiss or another one on top of the man’s forehead which trails down to the cheeks, strong jawline, and eventually down to the neck to collarbone, not yet to the lips. Wrong, yes, he knows it to where a twinge of guilt overrides his mind and body wanting to go forward to its initial plan to stop suddenly in his tracks while itching the back of his neck with a free hand. If Tim were to wake up to find him doing this it without given consent will never be forgiven whatsoever and the taller man wouldn’t deal with that so well.

“... I. I just can’t do this to him. It wouldn’t be right to just use him like this for my own sick purpose...”

So, he unfortunately pulls away with hand balled up to a fist raised away to wipe away the small bits of left-over saliva from his lips. It's not what he wants to do even if he must for the other man’s sake since he was going or was about to that is with something quite dubious. A heavy sigh was made when Alex sits down on the carpeted floor where he leans against the couch. Eyes heavy with exhaust along with the common stress coming in on a daily basis lazily takes a hesitant glance back at the sleeping figure next to him and he cracks a small smile at the image ahead to the usual stoic man actually and may unconsciously sucking his thumb for presumably comfort reason which was understandable for what had gone down. A childishly uncharacteristic thing for Tim to do in his sleep however, for the observer it gave him all the more reason to fall head over heels in love.

In a dreamful state Tim groggily began to wake up from his slumber only to see he was back in not his apartment but his ex’s own sitting  criss crossed on the way too squishy mattress. By then he was taken in another quick surprise when being almost without thought from another source blinded from a light reflected off what he can see is a laptop screen. Eyes squinted as it adjusts to the light where it shows him an image revealing to be an essay on something long ago forgotten by him. Hands continued to rub away the irritancy held within his sore eyes without his current control when forcing to stare at the face of a lover he was meant to spend the rest of his life with ‘til the very end. A very sleep deprived one nonetheless but at the time when college was coming to an end, he was finding it hard to resist those droopy eyes and genuine or what it  appears as to be a caring smile melting his icy cold heart to mush.

_ ‘... D-do. Do you think this would work for my upcoming project? I don’t know myself?' _

Now he can only scold his younger self so being so incredibly stupid in believing anyone would ever desire to be with him of all people; Brian was a more logical choice. His lover sure thought so when cheating behind his back where he feels like he’ll never be able to trust another soul again. A best friend who was his very first in fact he was so blindly drawn everyone was as perfect as the blond man that can never do anything wrong and everyone was entranced by him. They wanted to be him or be with him and in hindsight, he should’ve known his little oblivious jaybird be one of many that would be wrapped around the other’s finger. It made him obviously angry where he wanted to punch a living thing right now and since there was one right there next to him, he was about to yet he couldn’t as he was sitting there perfectly still when the other crept closer.

_ ‘...Tim. I got to say something off my chest here before I heh, kind of explode and it be rather nice if you put in a piece on your end when I’m done, okay...?’ _ Almost sounds annoyed by him at the time looking confused unable to speak on his end. The other man only a few inches taller than he and unnaturally slimmer though anyone compared to him can be seen skinnier shifts on the bed on to his knees. Dark eyes to his stares back shell shocked as he was moved backwards then his back was pressed on the mattress beneath him by the other man looking so prideful by doing this to him as he was often seen to be the stronger, obviously dominant source in probably any relationship. If anyone knew him personally unlike Jay, he the man confession what was seen as ‘true love’ along with the others be surprised by the lack to anything downstairs where Tim feels a hand starting to unzip the jeans, _ ‘... I. I like you a whole lot,  _ _ y’know _ _? Never have I felt such things for another person who. Who’ll be like a true soul mate to me like you…? _ ’ When his now ex-boyfriend admits to the crush on him, he feels a part to him mostly his past self finally feeling content with his awful separation anxieties that he found the one who loves him. .

_ ‘Same here’ _ Remembering from the past he went on to reply yet now it seemed uncertain for the dark-haired male to say to the man above who actually recuperated his admission in actually liking someone such as hum out of truthfulness or pity,  _ ‘I really, really do like you too’ _

A shot of fear surges through his veins automatically as he was coming close to being bare of both his lower articles,  _ ‘So... If you’re liking where this goes maybe we can go do it then?’ _ When it came for the man above to completely tug off his jeans and boxers, Tim faintly recalls taking the wrists to the other into his hands.

_ ‘... I. I uh, I’m sorry, Jay b-but I don’t think I’m ready yet if you understand t-that, right? This. This whole thing is happening too fast and I wouldn’t want to ruin it between us if later you think this was a huge mistake a-and stuff...?’ _

Even when he says what was on his mind telling to his crush, he was not ready and that he needed more time with their blooming relationship from being well out of nowhere taken by literal surprise. Once the other pried away from him and went back to his original spot on the bed, he wondered on that computer placed back on the man’s lap used often it was rare to see it not nearby his past lover. As he worryingly looks back at the man whom he thought was to be his forever was already back in looking mindlessly at the bright screen like it was his savior during an awkward moment. Nervously he in silence watches the other texting on that old thing most likely or his worry wart nature to blame to horrible and supposedly helpful ‘best friend’ about how much a sucker he was to them. Maybe if he hadn’t said no to many things such as this the other man wouldn’t have left him for another, better person who’s able to do things he couldn’t without hesitation. 

_ I can’t believe it. Absolutely cannot believe Tim would have the guts in not giving ME what I want after I told him I loved him? He should be thankful I gave him a chance since he’s nothing more  _ _ than _ _ a freak?!?  _

The text on that cheap, worn out to show its true age, almost broken-down thing must’ve been what was told between the way too intimate pair in his eyes while he stood there off the soft bed thinking that maybe everything wasn’t so bad after all. Surely, when he dreams up on that short piece, he knew it most likely wasn’t the case and that his once precious jay bird was simply doing something for his job or related to one of his college courses. Yet with anger racked with his other undesirable emotions getting the better of him knew in a delusional state it had to be the case like they were simply just doing this to play a sick game on him like he was a toy to be fiddled with for their pleasure. It had to be the case since why would anyone, really nobody even the homeless bum on the street or the sick pervert often playing peeping tom on the women in his apartment complex surely didn’t want to be seen with a freak such a himself who didn’t have his head on straight. Sometimes he feels those prying eyes of the peeping tom taking a good, long look at him once the women grew boring not wanting  a single piece of his sorry fat ass. 

Neither did he have his life going down on the right place whatsoever for his likes as he had no one there for him to be supportive without having an ulterior motive set up behind their backs.

“... H-hngh...”

A choked groan unwillingly was emitted from him as he sees himself bent over once a stinging, throbbing pain he knew way too well returning back to torment him. Swiftly, he wraps his arms around his midsection where he takes a curious, concerned look around to see his surroundings changing again. It became nothing but pitch darkness for the small man and from so he was continuously rubbing the ache in his groin area away to at least relax a bit to understand what was going on. Fearful noises crept up from his tense throat then shoves its way out of his mouth which now felt like it was being pried open by another source that wasn't him and slid something on his tongue slicking it up for whatever comes next. The taste in his mouth wasn’t at all alluring him to keep at it so, he crinkles his nose in shocked disgust while trying to push whatever it was off.

_ ‘... It’s going to be alright. It will get better eventually so, trust me...’ _

Mysterious even if a touch of a familiar voice spoke up in false reassurance to help comfort him in a stressful period. Hands were moved up to his face so he can at least fight back whatever weird advances this shadowy figure appearing in his line of sight was pulling on him with little success. Then he grunted out loudly in discomfort which did alert the other doing this to stop for the time being like it was reconsidering in stopping this but in no time returns with more hesitance then the previous attack of his mouth. Floating in the dark abyss proved to not be on his side once having him rolled onto his back, legs embarrassingly having to be spread apart for the figure moving slowly on top him. Similar fear to previously he attempted to shove the other thing off him and when he couldn’t his breathing became shallow with each gasp for air being  limited to nothing.

_‘... Just relax for me, doll. If you keep going on like this then you won’t have a fun time like myself and I want us both having fun here...’_

His voice was becoming coarse once the unknown object shoved roughly and deeper into his unexpected throat causing him to cry out a desperate whine. A whine unsuitable for whoever was doing this to him since they came to another pit stop in between his legs now shivering uncontrollably like cold air was breezing against bare skin. It was like not only that stopped them from proceeding but something entirely as he shivers some more upon a way too hot breeze hitting him like a punch to the stomach. Then he feels it returning back to touching him even if it is knowing of his disapproving stance on the matter to where he was tossing and turning weakly like he was struggling at the overpowering nature hovering over him. His noises to displeasure as well, bounces back and off the fabric walls to the abyss around him acts like a prison holding him forcefully for an  eternity .

_‘... Relax, doll, I wouldn’t want this to hurt for you so, please make it like you want this. Stop resisting like you hate this and want it to stop, you want this, no crave for it, I know of it. Please, do this for me as I know this is what you want in a true partner who can treat you like you deserve to be treated like a precious gem…’_

Nothing like this was supposed to be enjoyed by Tim who was no doubt going to have a panic attack despite being in a horrible nightmare. This whole encounter was reminding him of horrendous things occurring in the far-off past as his hands balled up into tight fists. Even if his jeans and the nicely fitted boxers showing his soft, round rear off underneath such was still on, he was deathly afraid if anyone saw the truth he’ll be disregarded as some sort of freakish sideshow, not a true man after all with the games he played on the fools thinking he was the gender he poses on every day. In the end he will be taken as nothing then a misleading toy taking out his self-gratification in leading people like his close friends and loved ones on. Sick to his stomach it makes him arch his back upwards with his legs being tugged up to the air then on slender shoulders.

_ ‘... You look so god damn beautiful and stunning like this, Tim completely vulnerable where you need someone like me to make sure you’re safe. I’ll be everything you need for that special old someone without having that twisted, needing urge to hurt you. It won’t ever be me as I'll be such a caring, loving and protective lover you need so, let me help you. Then help us both become a better person as a whole and you know you need it more then I...’ _

Over again the voice sends him all the tingling sensation to overwork his senses as he heaves heavily with desire whereas his mind if cloudy at best whimpers in fear over what will come next to haunt. Thick legs of his was propped up once again more in order to have the other be in a comfortable position, nothing suited for him since he only felt the aching numbness taking ahold. Whines and mewls full of pain upped then left his plump lips like a puppy crying for its mother; embarrassing he knows once hearing the satisfied laughter to the figure ringing in his eardrums. Nails sharp to a point such as a cat pierces through the mystery figure’s sides where he felt a bit gleeful to give the thing some pain when managing to slip one leg back down from the stiff spot it had previous. A sigh of instant relief came with Tim squirming about on his spot; head shaking with his body too in an attempt to wake himself from the fever dream landing him in nothing but a traumatic area.

_ ‘... Quit it, right now?!? You’re scaring me...This isn’t what I want and I sure as hell know this isn’t what you want either!?! Please, for the love of god do yourself a favor like the rest of us and keep still and act like a good, pretty faced, feminine doll for me...?!?!’ _

Then there it was through the threshold which was when the tipping point came then went with a rush of power stunned the other as the dark-haired subordinate stiffens and kicks the one overwhelming him to submission off with a loud thump on what feels like a wooden floor in response, “... S-Stop it, please…?!?” Screaming loudly, it actually, manages to speak his mind on the matter, Tim startles himself awake from the nightmare plaguing his fearful,  grieving mind into consciousness and he’s met with a befuddled Alex a good few feet away staring down at him like he’s seen a ghost.


	3. Saturday; Morning After

Awake now, Tim was thrusted back into the real world once again from an awkward dream reminding him of his past relationships turned awfully horrendous, he was struggling to breathe at all. The dream was horrifying to say the very least as the traumatized man in question currently dealing with it couldn’t help to feel his whole body from the top to his head to the tip of his toes immediately stiffen in reaction. Hairs on his body as well, were standing up like needles sticking out from his body along with the growing, chilled goosebumps littering his tanned skin which only consisted to his face down to his neck, elbows to his hands, and kneecaps towards his toes currently curled up. It felt just immensely horrible as the small man he was when trying to settle the aching heavy pit in his stomach and the other common feeling below his waist in between his legs as he shamefully whines. All the while during his weak attempt to push the dream that was only a façade for the horrendous truth to be only nightmarish, he felt a  horrible sinking sensation wash over him. 

Even if it wasn’t real and now forever drifted off in the past long ago to be pushed in the backburner that was his mind so cut off from everything to be all honest it still made him weary about the matter. It was so difficult to do so when he's hunched over curling up into a ball on the edge of the worn, stained sofa he laid on during the nighttime he spent in the house to the other man soon early in the morning about to fall onto the floor with no care. Hands clammy and pale of his were shaking rather badly as he brushes them through his messy dark thick locks where then tugs on them. Not a painful tug but more so only doing it to knock off the bad feelings to memories from his state of mind with a small amount to success when he with glossy eyes meets up with more concerned ones staring down at him. Only caused to make the stout man slouched over to at least feel something else then as his hands quivering eventually lessened the grip.

Still slouching over, his arms were tightly wrapped around his soft midsection that ever so often like an annoyance cycle the numbing stinging occurred nearing his pelvic area leaving his legs to tangle around one another. Then in a flash so suddenly in fact Tim knew it be best for him to slowly raise his head up a little to see a fallen figure sat on the wooden floorboards out a few feet from where he sat on the couch. His dark eyes hooded with exhaustion weakly stares off towards the figure discretely enough in his opinion to see If the other was hurt by his fearful, erratic actions that didn’t mean to have him lash unexpectedly out. In an instant a staring contest occurred between the two of them were shared with one another then was broken quickly as the distraught man turned his attention away towards the nearest window that shown the outside where his parked car was facing the home. Everything outside the cramped cabin he was currently in with the other man seemed to appear breathtaking like always with life from nature itself going on with its day like nothing unlike him inside which felt like utter death. 

While continuing to stare out through the nearing window as the clear blue sky was nicely calming to soothe the tension once previously bubbling over within him with the tinge of light orangish yellow across the horizon. A nice comforting sight to behold to an extent for Tim since it was one to many comfort mechanisms when the times got tough especially now when he struggled to properly breath. The beat-up car of his was ancient where he had it for years smelling to old mothballs in the interior yet it wasn’t as bad from the faint lingering smell here within the house while the outside was a bit knocked up with somewhat noticeable dents was still thankfully parked on the front yard. A yard that wasn’t idealistically green nor fresh looking which once again was similar to decay from head to toe of a human corpse laid out untaken care of by anything. It didn’t ease any tension bubbling over within his body since the appearance to the cabin inside to outside made him feel something not entirely right when nervously itching his arm. 

_ ‘... It's alright. Everything is fine now. No one here is out to hurt you. Calm down as its going to be okay now. Breathe in then out again like they taught you...’ _

Ought to remind himself, he was in no real harm whatsoever in the slightest so, from knowing that small yet important detail it took some time before the stout man gathered enough sense to calm down, not wanting to further make a fool in appearance in front to the other. Someone who in response had gotten up slowly from the ground while staying eerily silent when dusting off from the fall and it somehow worried him on the matter being as he looks anywhere else but at the man. If he done something terribly wrong which he obviously did upon lashing out on someone who he can now see was his only friend for the time being wasn’t talking to him it wasn’t a good thing. From a nervous habit of his built over the years he dug his jagged nails into the skin to his arm already littering with them and other past injuries, not needing to be mentioned began to scratch away. Although painful to say the least and very much concerning to others, he didn’t mind it himself when slowly standing up from the seat yet found  ou t easily enough his legs or anything else like his whole body felt weak.

Really weak in fact like the life had been forcibly sucked out of him in some way or another which a part to himself was somewhat worried about the face but maybe that was just the exhaustion playing a part. Like he was entirely made from jelly, nothing else as he felt the blood rushing into his head so quickly, he almost stumbled a bit yet manages to steady himself with the arm to the couch. A pained, agitated grunt came forth from his quivering lips while tiredly brushing through his messy, thick locks that was sticking out in each and every angle imaginable. Over all the short, soft man found himself disgusted by what he was both inside to outside as he slowly rubs circles at his sore, aching back with his hand that had once he leaned back loudly pops. Soon another grunt noise came from this by him while his vision previously badly blurred was slowly but thankfully surely turned back into focus which it automatically looks over at his only  friend .

Someone who he had shamelessly knocked the air out of him and knocked him carelessly to the dusty wooden floor below, he knew it must’ve been painful by the pained groan alone in response. Now he was going back with the internal struggle in what he should even do next without further worsening yet another friendship in the long run despite this go around wasn’t caused by on purpose. “... Ugh, F-fuck. Alex... I, I d-didn't mean to startle you like that…?” His voice was unnaturally strained though he can pass it off from having a rough night along with a worse off yesterday with mostly screaming from kept emotions not doing him any good favors, “... I u-uh... Are. Are you alright over there? D-do... Do you need anything…?” Obvious shame was noticeable in both his expression and to his body language currently slouched over again with his arms wrapped around his waist. It appeared something was on the other man’s mind but it supposedly was scared out from the taller as he hesitantly walks over with arms wrapped around his middle looking up on the once fallen. Another uncomfortable sensation pinches him in his more sensitive areas to his hips as he couldn’t stay standing anymore then returns to his seat.

“No. It's fine as I can easily say the same with you? I was worried really badly about you that I wanted to check up on you, that’s all?” An idea appeared to pop in then out from the taller man yet it was held back when responding back with  genuine concern, “Did you have a bad dream or something? Is that why you were saying things and thrashed erratically about?”

Then slowly with care and slight or mostly obvious worry Alex gotten on his feet as well and made his way towards the couch to sit down on the opposite side to the shorter man with his hands pressed firmly into his lap. Like it was an attempt to hide something a little more private, hands to his were turning pale by being balled up fists along not catching Tim’s gaze and entirely somewhere else. It made Tim immensely bewildering whereas the expression on his friend’s face was her forced to look relaxed when around him like there was a thought or two wanting to be said by the other yet was held back until a long second later. “... So, do you  wanna talk about it, Tim? It's fine if you’re not up to it as sometimes things are better left not spoken on...?” Asked awkwardly by his friend the shaken male squirmed a little over the leathery surface to the couch now feeling much older in texture and simply odder than the previous night although he was too upset to care nor mind. Now that wasn’t the matter to the topic at hand so, taking his time in doing this Tim turns around to face the other where his own sight was locked firmly at  the man beside him. 

“... Not a lot to talk about, really... Unless you want to be bored to death, that is and surely you got better things to be doing with your morning...?” Lying a little on the truth to the nightmare when merely shrugging his shoulders back resulting in another popping noise from it, Tim thought he said and cried enough to not open too much more with his friends. Shamefully he shouldn’t have exploited his friend like that where he overflowed his bad vibes and etc. to another person like Alex who he hadn’t meet for so long. Well, he was upset after all with his longest ever relationship with someone he thought cared about him and worse with his first ever best friend so, he was understandably upset but shouldn’t force the only person now by his side with his troubled problems. “... It's just with my relationship with Jay and to an extent Brian and my friendship with him? What should I do now? Will it be better if I break things off somewhat amicably or try to mold things back together with them...?” Offering his suggestion for what he could do himself in the relationship between the other two men who had severely hurts him so deep to the very core that he was still unsure if he can really forgive them in the end. Now when he finishes of from his conflicted rambling on the matter which was highly important with him as he couldn’t really sweep it under the rug like the many last times.

Eventually the smaller male much calmer and less shaky then before hears an angered huff from the other man appearing to be much stiffer in body wise, “You really shouldn’t forgive them. They don’t deserve it... They don’t deserve you? You need someone who actually cares about you, Tim, not them who would hurt you again and again on repeat?”

In startled shock, Tim stares up wide eyed at the taller male seemingly appeared to be both hot and bothered by what he spoken himself and what had said on he stated on the consideration of taking back his lover and friend. The long, bony hands were still being firmly balled up fists with enough strength to break something weak like someone’s throats only being pressed currently into his lap. Honestly the smaller male slowly inches back in his seat while his legs in his current predicament were tightly screwed around one another as he discreetly pushes away to the edge. Why should he be so afraid of the other man since he knows full on well or so he thought that his only friend moment being wouldn’t hurt him by purpose and in malice intent as it be truly absurd. Same thing can be told from Alex who looked equally as startled himself when thankfully calming down where he wasn’t shaking like a leaf with untouched emotions with his gaze back on Tim.

“... Sorry... I didn’t mean to come off as brash or anything here...  It's just that I would hate to see you getting hurt again by people who probably don’t care honestly about you?"

“Uh, its fine, really, I don’t know what I was expecting from you or anyone if they heard this? What you were saying is the truth like why would I bring them back in to my life when they will likely hurt me again it the thing is...” Again, how he spoke so weakly with shyness along with placing the upmost shame towards himself mostly which must’ve hit a nerve with the gangly, stick liking man, “... Is that I can’t so easily get rid of them especially Jay like that with no care whatsoever? The guy was my first love when no one else would’ve paid me no mind in such a manner... And somehow like with my shameful, no good self like always I blew it with him"

Suddenly to the shortest man’s utter surprise for the most part Alex had taken his hand into a firm yet caring hold making him look up into the stern gaze set on him alone; nothing else happening around them, “None of this is your fault, Timothy. I want you, right now to get that through your head. Who's to blame for this issue isn’t you but them and sooner than later, they will be dealt with in the worst way imaginable in repercussions for their awful intentions" Tim couldn’t look away at all when listening on to what was uttered by the other not because he was too immensely intrigued but his dear friend had made sure he was paying attention. As well, he found a hand creeping up to cup at the soft flesh to his face with long fingers brushing past the scruffiness to his sideburns. Like a leaf falling from the trees in winter the smaller male was shivering as such when meeting up with the cold contact the man gently rubbing the fingertips against the side to his face. An odd, unique feeling he never ever felt with anyone else previously including Jay and a few strangers getting too close for comfort, Tim didn’t know how to properly react. So, unsurprisingly he instinctively pulls away in growing hesitance with is eyes glossed over with a said substance he didn’t mean to make within this situation where he saw the other’s expression drastically drop.

“... I. Uh, I understand. Though it will be a touch difficult for me to just get over them like you said be better for me...”

Still seemingly to appear so persistent in the dark-haired man’s eyes, Alex wasn’t going to let the topic here to actually allowing some dirty cheater like Jay and Brian be brought back like nothing had happened in the first place, “Tim, please do understand if you were to keep letting this happen it only have you hurt in the end? You wouldn’t want to be a doormat for pretty much everyone, do you? You like I said countless times deserves at least someone who will respect you... A person which by the way there’s plenty in the sea who’ll be able to treat you like a prized, rare, and an absolute breathtaking beauty that you are compared to the scum surrounding us"

Now a pair of Alex’s hands held in place the smaller male’s face which gotten his soft almost  embarrassingly chubby cheeks to be squished into his currently squinted eyes staring oddly at the other.

“... I know you’re my friend who I haven’t seen for a while now since that college film which I am sorry for but this is me here. Sorry if I’m not taking your advice just ending things here and now. But you are right though with possibly not continuing to further this relationship with Jay yet I think it be best if were to just talk things over with him, we won’t be  y’know be awkward with one another? And u-um, also, may you let me go, please...?"

“Ugh... Alright, I’m fine with that... I only want what’s best for you, Tim and I absolutely hate it to see you getting hurt again because of them being careless with you" A tense, stifled sigh escapes Alex's lips who upon finishing his blunt statement with some serious undertones gotten up from his seat on the couch. Once the tall man’s feet were on the ground the floorboards underneath them squeaks annoyingly loud that like any moment will crumble by the weight to everything. The grossness came tenfold as the glasses adorned; old film director lifted one foot was raised up a few inches where the socked covering was sticking to an unknown, moist substance. Discreetly enough from seeing this alone had him almost put ff from doing anything further in the cabin however, Alex was his friend so, he won’t bash on the other man’s living quarters for now. “... So, Tim? Want some breakfast before it's too late? I don’t want you going hungry since when was the last time you actually eat, man?” Although teasing light heartily from what Tim can tell and wouldn’t hold it back against the guy for it due to his low, somewhat steadily dwindling self-consciousness plummeting to the graves.

In still silent response a shivering shake of the head ‘Yes, I would love some. Thank you so much’ when continuing to stay put on the couch here he couldn’t help to feel the true unsettling nature that came from the cabin. Next thing about the cabin he didn’t really like was the strong lingering smell in the air practically having forcibly punching him directly in the face with how overly gross it was his sensitive sense of smell. Once he was completely alone with his thoughts even to his rather disgusted facial expressions, Tim really honestly held his hand up to his face from sniffing too deeply in the decaying smell. Slightly huffing out where he tried to rid the smell from his nostrils the attention once had dulled down to nothing was instantly peaked to a dark stain on the floor leading all the way towards a door most likely possibly lead to the basement. An eyebrow was curiously raised on the matter to where the unknown substance trail leads towards so; he weakly stands up onto wobbly legs sill acting like nothing then jelly with him for however long it lasts.

Now using anything nearby for support Tim makes a hasty as he can with his shaky self a beeline to the door cracked only a small bit and it was true that it was a dimly lit basement with no source to light from where he currently stands. So, he really had to squint a little long with leaning forward upon pushing the door pen a bit more in now knowing the smells appears to be coming from here when anywhere else. From being so close anyways he was automatically hit in the face with the revolting smells as he outwardly this time gags at it and looks away in another direction. The direction aimed at the kitchen where the other man; Alex was making breakfast for the both of them and he can easily smell the delicious food wafting which was thankfully overwhelming the terrible scent beside him. Instead to going ahead with his curiosity to checking out the other’s basement he goes on to closing the door behind him.

“The food is ready?!?"

A surprising chipper tone full of eagerness called out leaving an echo throughout the room own to the basement with Tim nicely huffing out in relief when making his way to the kitchen far from the closed door behind him. 

“... Nice, Alex. I would never think of you as a cook...?” Joking came short lived as hunger kicks in and with his dang cramps not helping the matter whatsoever, hands going over in rubbing the aching parts to his body when sitting down at a chair opposite to another, “... Smells really good too just like that... Tea, you made me last night? Really knocked me out in to slumber…?"

Soft chuckles left past the taller man’s lips when setting up everything made for breakfast on the old wooden table with the equally ancient table cloth that didn’t smell too bad and the food placed in front of him made any odd scents wash away. Then having the food right there ahead the feeling to hesitance overwhelms Tim who didn’t want to exactly delve into the food since it would most likely have him appear a total pig. A disgruntled whine did come past as he bites his bottom lip to suppress the awful noises to hunger coming to make his stomach first coil then uncomfortably twist to turn. Eventually he did start eating the greatly delicious food set up on a flimsy paper plate although very, very slowly so, he won’t stuff himself too fast and have another troubling stomach ache. Food made by his currently true and only friend was just so filling to say the least as he soon enough was almost halfway done with it; his eyes discreetly looking up at the man ahead looking through his phone.

“Apologies. I was just checking up something on my phone” Alex softly smiles, hands fiddling with his phone looking so worn down and cracked at each angle with the light illuminating off his face, “Nothing new, really besides the same old? Only reading the news basically?”

Nodding a bit, Tim curiously stares at the reflection of the man’s phone through the glasses which in fact was displaying the news, “... Anything new though? I haven’t been reading currently on the news lately?”

From the other end of the table now no longer using his phone, Alex was at the moment simply chewing at his own food looking a touch off colored then his own food but that wasn’t the point. The point in was his undying curiosity in what the other man was reading on his phone about the news as he knew something had seriously been going on that gotten everyone near him so terribly worried on the matter. Sometimes he thinks many people he was surrounded with was just overacting on it but now lately he was awfully wondering what was even going on nowadays. Instead to being the usual hermit that he tends to be on other occurrences this go around was leaving himself willing to learn anything new especially the news that was always an interesting encounter for him. News was and have been so intriguing to him to some extent as he remembers his father at a table similar to this one reading a physical paper one, not bothering to pay his so called ‘son’ daughter on anything while going off with his other on how  everything was going to shit.

Unlike that his friend was actually paying more than half a mind with him then his flesh and blood, shit of a family, Tim felt nicely at ease before it was smothered out, “As I said nothing new from the usual... Though the news is currently rambling on about some random ‘chilling’ acts of violence and whatnot towards anyone in their path caused by a still unknown person or maybe people?”

“... Oh...” Surely not so surprisingly he first gulps down the sudden lump forming in his throat then after proceeds to ask another wondering question, “... Uh, what kind of acts...?”

“Violent acts?  Y’know the usual basic ones like murder and etc. Nothing really pretty so, just don’t worry about it, Tim. Most likely you’ll be fine? Why would anyone want to hurt you unless they were just assholes like them?”

A nervous laugh bubbles through his tightly screwed shut teeth when now weakly fiddling with his fingers and the bendy plastic fork that if he bent it in a certain way will snap in half quite easily, “... Uh huh. Y-you. You seem so at ease with this whole thing... Like really nonchalant about some serial murderer or whatever roaming freely? What if something were to seriously happen?”

“Nothing will happen? I assure you this murderer whoever he may be won’t target a person like yourself? It will be a true shame to see someone so nice and handsome like you getting horribly maimed or killed. I won’t allow it nor do such an act to you?”

Reaction coming from him was a hesitant smile while by the other man proudly stating that nothing, not by a thing or especially a human being will ever hurt Tim unless a severe punishment will be enacted from a true friend. It as well, left him to shamefully feel his soft cheeks to flush as he shakily raises his hands up to his face to hide the fact but possibly the other caught onto the noticeable hue. Utterly embarrassment the small, gruff man attempts to rub away the awful feeling from his face which he knows full on well the other man would see and get second hand humiliation. The pit growing heavy in his stomach was becoming quite unbearable with his legs like pure instinct wraps around each other to lessen the effect to the blood rushing from out his body. Maybe to feel better if that was the problem making him queasy, he should politely excuse himself to the bathroom to change well, his annoyingly disgusting bodily issue.

Soon he was able to do so easily as Alex points to the direction to the bathroom to change into something a bit fresher upon taking with him some newer clothes and the item he secretly shoved into the fabric of the clothing so, no one like the other man can see then afterwards when that was done he returns to the kitchen in a loopy stance. “... Okay uh, thanks, I guess? Really means a lot from you. Never had anyone so willing like you be so out there to make sure that I’m fine and well...” Now in his return he changes the topic from the way it originally went down to an almost morbid fashion as he struggles to check the time on the stove which he couldn’t precisely see to his  disdain . “... Will you mind if you can tell me the time? I can’t be late to work or they be up my ass for the whole day and it just be a pain in the ass for me…?” Enough time came later, he was completely done with his food then during so further hide his blushing shame over learning the possibility that Alex would literally do anything for his happiness, he slowly pushes his self from the table. Then when he done so his legs of course along with the rest to his body but mostly his lower half area was unable to stand for too long as he stumbles a little. His vision too was blurring and slowly glossing over like last night yet he gained enough strength in all his might to trudge towards the sink then placed the plate and fork inside until realizing what he done without bothering to think with his mind even playing a part.

Vision was badly fading out so, Tim propped his hands on the sink for support then when doing that he hears behind him the sounds to a chair being pushed back and soft footsteps coming closer along with a hand laid on his tensed shoulder, “Are you alright? You look out of it... Due to just placing your paper plate and the plastic fork in the sink?”

Awkward laughter came from the two of them as the smaller male shrugs his shoulders back a pop resulted from his suddenly sore joints just stiffening ever so often upon Alex merely helping the best, he could with simply softly rubbing in circles at the certain areas.

“Yeah? I. I think it's just being out of shape self now getting back at me for being so lazy, right?”

It really done wonders for Tim with the backrubs to the very point, honest be told here, he was so close to actually drifting off to slumber again but he suddenly jerks his head back both knowing he had work in only  an hour then the other man’s hand slowly sliding down.

“Maybe you can go back to resting so, you feel better? I wouldn’t want you getting any bit sicker...” The hand goes back up his back as Tim can shake his head and pushing off from the sink and turns around to face the man, “... Timothy... Please, do listen to me as you don’t look too good and I wouldn’t want you going off like this What if something were to happen to you and I wouldn’t be able to be there to make sure you’re fine and dandy?”

Now slowly exiting the kitchen with the taller, gangly man trailing constantly telling him to stay was back in the living room standing near to the closed basement door still picking at his curiosity to observe with no real reason why, “... Alex. I r-really overstayed my welcome here, I know of it. Really, I’ll be fine, I swear and I surely will take some parts to your advice and talk with Jay and Brian too over this..."

Now stopping in his tracks with a look on his face obviously expressing true disappointment and something else not so open like the first emotions Alex gave his lovely guest a lopsided grin whereas his gaze lazily with no expression had now directs to the basement, “... Okay. Okay, I’m sorry for being so smothering here with you. I only want what’s best for you unlike them, I do care about you... Now, I see something catches your attention? Why it’s a simple basement? nothing special goes on in there?” Asked rather annoyed as Alex opens the basement door wide open to show Tim there was indeed nothing thin besides the darkness and the revoltingly strong scent to decay.

“I know... And now from my standpoint there’s rather strong smell going on in there? How do you not even smell the awfulness to it, man?” Tim carefully explains, an arm moved behind him to gently pushes him towards the door leading off downstairs to the dark, damp, most likely stone room.

“I’m sorry again. I don’t know what’s going on with me? From the smell, I guess it's gotten that bad I’ve been used to it for staying here too long?” An apology Tim can accept truthfully without reconsidering their friendship as he listens on, is eyes taking lances at the front door down to his phone to only check up on the time, “... Mind if you check it out with me? It's too dark down there to really go alone and you know my poor sight to  see if anything is wrong”

“... Okay. Sure, man. But we  gotta make this quick as I got work in like an hour or so from now...”

Returning gesture from Alex alone was a simple flick to the hand back when allowing Tim to go head and go first which the shorter man did with no hesitance in sight from carefully walking down the steep staircase. No light was really leading him safely through downstairs to the basement so, eventually Tim did feel a touch unnerved upon reaching the flooring that like upstairs but worse stuck to the bottom of his feet. It made him the pitch darkness helping hide it he made a face to absolute disgust whilst struggling to find a near switch for light to bestow upon them. Only to lessen his urge to be terribly scared over being pretty much alone with the exception to Alex who now so suddenly gone quiet with the soft breathing telling him the other was still here. Thankfully that in itself was an immense relief when it lasted from finally finding the nearest light switch and Tim almost stumbled making his way over with his short arms and fingers to flick it on.

“... W-what the fuck…?!?!"

All that he says well, mostly screams out loud like a frightened child seeing something truly terribly traumatizing to ever see with one’s own eyes as Tim felt his legs buckling underneath him from the pressure to the  situation .


	4. Saturday; Basement of Startling Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in this work by anyone who was deeply in trusted in it but here it is now and hopefully it meets up to the same expectations to the last three chapters. However, this chapter for a bit of a spoiler, not too much by the way, I hope is going to be quite the needed change for plot as it be quite drastic so, putting out a warning for readers by the certain themes in it

Dark eyes similar to the pitch darkness of the midnight skies, he had often saw during one to many late-night walks with his ‘ex’ or were they still partners that in itself was just a conflicting time to discuss especially now immediately widened like space saucers. “... W-what the fuck…?!?!” Soon enough he was without control yelling out in a strained, out of wacked voice expressing how startled he was and forever going to be at what was carelessly shown to him without much remorse given whatsoever as it was soaking up in his mind like the summer sun warming his usual tan skin with the thick coating of crimson blood. The blood, it was that and it alone as it couldn’t be anything else, he knew what it was from past experiences was simply put everywhere in the basement from the walls, floor, and somehow one way or another on the ceiling, no single spot was bear to the liquidly, splotchy mess. Some of it sickeningly enough was dripping small yet piercing droplets from the exceptionally tall ceiling up above tapping down to his head; his hand can tell that to him when passing his fingers through his hair to be then met with them being terribly stained once he pulls them down into his peripheral vision,  _ ‘... It can’t be true... It can’t even be real... I. I have to be imaging this shit for real... Oh god, it's too much to bear... My head hurts too much... All at once...' _ Mind was warping; vision wasn’t so clear anymore as Tim had tapered off from screaming his vocal cords to be no longer there but a mere whisper until his deep voice inevitably cracks leaving him mute only ever noises were gurgled whimpers. The hand shaking like the other yet unlike it wasn’t coated in blood was raised up over to his throat which currently is tensing like crazy whilst sore beyond belief when cutting his shocked gaze from the scene.

What took the main center to Tim’s attention was right dab middle of the basement that seemed to be the very source being a humongous dark grey tarp that overlaid quite the noticeable sprawled out masses of lumps underneath it. Three huge lumps right next to each other in fact and besides one was a much smaller half the size of them bump with blood slowly seeping out like a small pond to a nearby drain. It looked exactly what Tim thought they were since he only seen this sort of things on television shows about crime scenes where the presumably recently deceased received in order to give them at least a sliver of respect. No, it can’t be, he thought to himself on the matter when cursing softly under his breath some more expletives that make his uppity mother and releivites blush in the horror. “Hey, Mr. Potty Mouth? Keep that up or I’ll have to wash it out with soap or worse?" Soon a pained shiver travels down Tim’s aching spine at the statement given to him from behind by his only closest dear friend who can be either joking or saying it for real, he easily couldn’t tell.

Now as his knees had to buckle underneath himself, Tim’s heavy set sadly, he grown to hate over the many years he was alive for the obvious, clear cut reasons had painfully dropped to the stone concreate ground below him as he in a careless haste scurries away from the horrendous scene set out ahead. So much is just happening all at once that he can’t even begin with to or really, barely comprehend what was going on where in turn from so, his vision began to scarily fade away again with his only good look at the supposedly ‘real’ world which it couldn’t have been was only the unreadable expression on the other man’s face. The slim face belonging to Alex now leers eerily above him; facial expression was obviously showing genuine concern over him and his sudden fall whereas his eyes were nothing more than dully dead inside. On his knees already painfully aching for him to stand up then run out from the suffocating room like this made him feel sick yet like it was meant for him to be his position, he shook his head on the thought as he was staring back wide eyed in equally given shock the other had tapered off on moments ago. One hand was pressed on the ground while the other shakily with time wipes down his face beaded with the cold sweat and finally, he felt not entirely, really better, not enough to vomit in that meaning personally as he truthfully felt like he was going to die here.

Death then continues to lingering heavily in his mind but not in the darkest corner but full on view being the main attraction constantly were no good amount of prescribed medication from his local, years long doctor prescribed him to ‘better’ him for the inevitable mediocrity to the real world set out for him. Fear finally again takes ahold of him enough that his head started to spin around in never-ending circles like a racetrack, his father used to bring him when he was a young gi-child with some work associates. It was the same sort of fear often told to him by his parents to the many other adults around him seemingly all the time was normal and that he shouldn’t worry nor speak out on where he’s expected to be seen as nothing more than a pretty tool to be used as an advantage. Only was he ever used by his lackluster sometimes completely unaware parents was for mostly leverage that did sky rocket their own personal careers since they had a supposedly cute, naively air headed child like him who desires for living affection from anyone that truthfully cares. His past wasn’t the ideal plan to make him feel better in the current situation as anything else wouldn’t help either and he knew that he was inevitably screwed into a corner, right now. 

Yet maybe he can get out of this literally sticky situation although it didn’t seem too likely to happen in his favor when frantically searching for any form of an exit until he eventually found a reasonable one being the door that lead him down here in the first place which if open lets the overwhelmingly scent to death stink up the entire home. A corner to the room to be exact so, close to the door leading him out seemed so far from his grasping reach when the other man currently stood in front of his way who kept staring down at him like something was expected from him. Surely to understandably downright confused beyond a single douse in relief, he couldn’t dare understand what was asked nor wanted to look back in the direction giving him the chills. The shorter man with darker hair and sadly, lesser to a back bone recently up to date actually wanted to scream out to the other man with the blunt saying ‘what do you even want from me?!’ or maybe even something like ‘why just why are you showing me this in the first place!?!’ but he didn’t dare speak out per the usual lack thereof a figuratively speaking spine. What he can even manage muster up with which got to be better described very much humiliating to say the least was a weakly held back, choked wail to a small sliver to mercy never to be given. 

Maybe he’s just overreacting, he can only hope to think about this whole entire mess at hand whilst his mind was undeniably so, dizzy to even unclear between reality and what's unreal was making this all up to play an embarrassing yet sick game with him all over again. Instead it can be entirely something else; a twisted, fucked up dream perhaps in what the taller male was trying to show him in the gross, smelly basement which he felt his cheeks puff then flush out in humiliation at the ideas running through his head. However, in a more realistic sense, he knew it wasn’t the cause to his traumatized outburst along with his shaken-up demeanor, not trusting to anything happening around him nor especially his close friend’s tense reactions. Like the man coming close with slow steps in the glasses fogging up with the light coating of mist in the muggy air was wanting something else but it sadly, wasn’t given so hopes weren’t satisfied and then quickly dashed from his awaiting, hopeful vision. Heavy, erratic breathing coming from the shorter, darker haired man broke the tense atmosphere in half as his caring, respectable, and safe ‘friend’ he can’t call any of those things now stopped in his tracks in front of him.

When Alex bent down with one knee pressed up on the concrete flooring awhile the other leg steadied himself, he calmly spoke with the same lifeless eyes locked tensely between one another. In result the shorter yet heavier set man tries in cowering away but the iron clad stare leaving him on the receiving end left him unable to move and only to ever uncontrollably spasm, “Timothy. You were very curious, after all, correct in wanting to know where the smell was coming from and also, what was in the basement now look?” Suddenly, a long, bony yet warmly smooth hand to the terrified man’s horror began to stroke his cheek past his sideburns towards the chin; thumb along with the index finger keeping him and face firm in place. The ice cold, harsh touch wasn’t like it was previously instead to its usual comforting, reassuring presence always either silently or spoken in words in its gentle pitch were no more now. So, now he was afraid, alone and wanting to be let go so they can just forget about this horrible idea. “... You wanted to know, right? Maybe I should help you in getting a better look at them? I bet they want to see an old friend like yourself after being gone for so long?” Then the other man’s hand ushers him forwards to the lumpy tarps ahead that although didn’t show much at all or really little though Tim was slightly grateful for when digging his knees and hands into the ground.

“... I. I c-c-can't... A-Alex... This c-can’t be r-right, morally a-a-and... And or whatever or even legal h-here…?!?” Regaining his voice loudly in another once again, Tim ties to pull himself together for once and attempts to pull from the harsh grip set on him as he eventually, gulps the gross feeling of acidic vomit rising from the vile pit to his stomach upwards, “... O-oh... Oh, g-g-god, shit m-man?! I t-think I’m going to be sick…?!?” Yet thankfully or possibly in the opposite manner, honestly likely here being to his complete disdain in having to still stare back like a pasty white ghost at the gory imagery that within a quick jerk to full alertness returns to himself being startled once again into his rather blurry surroundings sickeningly enough coated in thick layers to the sticky, previous unknown substance he now knew to his current disgusted horrified realization. Now he wishes but more so desires to return back upstairs on the first place to the decrepit house far away from the stone cold basement that he was to be stuck with this disaster at hand here when he forces his dwindling state of mind going haywire in another weak attempt although miserably at best to shake him back from this horrid nightmare as he couldn’t face another so soon but he couldn’t easily escape. So, instead he clasped a clammy hand over his agape mouth trying with all his might to not scream any further or he’ll just straining his already strangled vocal cords to muteness for an unknown period of time which wouldn’t be doing him any good favor in the long run. 

“Now or never, you got to MAN up right this very second in turning around and look, Tim. Simply put your curiosity got the better of you..."

“... N-no. you can’t make m-me... What this I-is wrong.... What’s even under the tarps anyways and I don’t think t-they a-aren’t even.... Breathing... I-if that’s what I’m thinking t-they are but its c-c-can't be true... Y-you. You couldn’t have done this...?" Tim weakly spat back taking the taller, gangly man by utter surprise though it didn’t last too long when a hand roughly forces him to stare back at the graphic scene. Eyes were glossed over with tears slowly streaming down his cheeks as he was made to examine from head to toe on the non-living beings set out like ragdolls. Shock; that what it was to startle him deep down to his core and his mind was only playing a sick, twisted game with him, that’s all as he reassures that single point to himself when feeling something sticking at his clothing. All that he can muster in doing with the surprisingly dwindling amount of strength he once had in continuing to push away from the scene that made him literally stuck like a brick stature unable to really move. The single place he now knew that wasn’t the least bit ordeal nor especially safe for him whatsoever and that he needed to do something to get out rather quickly unless he’s sees himself better off dead. Which despite his often-depressive bouts of crippling sadness wasn’t what he actually wanted in his already shit going life that so didn’t need this right now. Cursing he was which was a total mix between a sailor and a startled little hare as he didn’t know what else to nervously sputter on about at the precise moment before just screeching out again, “... Oh s-shit. This I-isn’t good at all?! I don’t w-want to be here, Alex…?!?” 

An annoyed and plain put overly  disgrunted grunt came from Alex where he moves one hand to the back of the shaken male’s skull while the other held the corner to the dark grey tarp, “You’re here now, Tim. You got to see as curiosity killed the cat... And that I wanted to show someone, I thought I cared for and back forth did for me on something; another big  progect truthfully I’ve been working on for months?” His hand tightly grips through Tim’s thick dark locks enough to pull the man owning it close enough to the tarps to further smell the already gross smell get  sronger . Then swiftly in one motion that Tim had to see without blinking the crumpled over tarp was tugged off from the things  hiden underneath and it shown three familiar, old faces human corpses; two woman and a man all having lacerations,  stabwounds and gunshots along with a dog having its head chopped cleanly off beside it. It was truly a disgustingly morbid sight truthfully here for him to dare describe that as no one would ever want to see this scene with their very own eyes even from the coldest, emotionless, and just abusive ones wouldn’t ever want to witness in their lifetime whatsoever possibly retching up a lung over. Every single wall he came in contact with in the stone-cold basement all the way down to the floor then upwards to the ceiling were coated sickly with a layer of dark liquidly substance pretty much making him sick to his stomach; once again the same acidic vomit starting to rise up his tensing throat leaving boiling hot soreness in its trail. “Dead” In an estatic, cheery tone, Tim finds it similar to the one often used back in college on that stupid as hell student film, he often wondered how he got himself dragged to it by his only best friend at the time, “I know. I know. that’s why they aren’t breathing anymore which is a good thing. It's not ideal for you to see this so soon yet I didn’t expect you to react in such a brash manner? I thought you would’ve reacted in such a different manner then this? We could’ve possibly bonded over this or something to that effect? Perhaps we still can if you just calm down and don’t have these infamous panic attacks you had back in college... I can even easily help you through them if you want?" Reassured in a calm, eerily calm voice, Alex who had a hand on the gruff man’s back nudges the two of them towards the four corpses.

“... N-no... No t-thanks b-b-but... Oh?! S-shit!?! What the fuck, m-man...!?!” Again, he repeated ALMOST word to word for the most part, he uttered moments ago yet this go around held more velocity it echoes through the four walls to the bloody basement like a banshee. Tim knew who the three faces were even the dog that laid besides the lone man who was even if dead was clinging onto it like his life had depended on it. Alongside the dead man was a woman with straight dark brown hair cascaded down past her shoulders lying right next to the man where her hand now limply holding onto the man’s own dead one. Yet what took the cake quite instantly was the second woman and third human victim a few inches away from the other victims who Tim would’ve never thought any better than anyone that the other would do such a horrible thing to a supposed loving partner where she looked the most beaten up then the others. It appeared to his line of vision she had gotten the brunt of the attack mostly then the other three as it  appears, she tried to fight back by the looks of the self-defense injuries set upon her, “... A-Alex?!? Shit?! What the actual fuck!?! Oh, m-my god... T-this?! This is so  wro \- A-are they actually u- uhhh ... F-fuck, it can’t be... You c-couldn't have done a-all this?! They w-were our friends, Alex…?!?” It haunted him deep down to his very freaking core, he can’t even describe it besides just freaking out to the high heavens that he had majorly screwed up and that currently he can’t do anything about it. They were his friends though he had only got into contact with them recently to an extent by the only means of Jay and Brian but really, were they still people not deserving to such gruesome actions or is it their untimely death. 

Slowly with his whole body from head to toe like last night being so suddenly weak in the joints the dark-haired male manages to get back onto his feet; clammy hand held up onto the nearby wall for support. Although, that was an apologizingly slow process to begin with which already had his head spinning crazily like he couldn’t even focus on one thing at a time despite his best efforts the rest of him was hastily trying to get away. His gaze was cloudily hazy at best while trying to focus on everything at once which by the way was impossible, irises mere pin prickles were somehow locked onto the other man standing next to him with still an unreadable expression showing nothing, and lastly, his desire to get out of here alive was slowly becoming out far from his reach especially, when his friend stood in his way leaving himself to be in the middle between the corpses behind him. Once his racing, groggy mind got the hang to his surroundings for the most part that was slowly but surely stopping to an almost immediate stand still with his taller friend. Now then never, he had to make a swift, quick thinking move to the basement stairs that would fortunately will lead him back upstairs then hopefully out from the dingy, almost abandoned shack and hell, even back in Jay’s arms once again willing to hear them both; already  feeling like he may have possibly over reacted to it.

However, when he was close enough to the bottom to the staircase about to make a dash out the feeling to his face coming into instant contact with something that was way too hard, moist, and really too slimy that he knew in the instant realization. The sudden, harshly cold realization first being he was forcibly shoved to the cold concrete floor right next to the four corpses only a mere few inches away. It made him instinctively in a rushed attempt try to flee away from it since he saw the leakage of somewhat recent blood breaking through the old yet couldn’t do that when a foot pressed up against his back. A shoe with a hard edge continued to press into him where he’s left unable to move all too much along with his mind now returning back to its hazy, unclear state where his body was turning to soft jelly. His body and mind weren’t acting like his own at the moment that it deeply scared him to his wit’s end when feeling the mass on top him shifting a little where shallow breathing can only be heard while the other man took a knee next to him.

A soft, warm sound hushing swept across the nape of Tim’s neck as he immediately wants to shrivel up to either hide away from the feeling or to just die right then and there which he can’t so easily do with the hand holding him firmly in place, “... Tim... Oh, Tim, you got to calm down here with me. If you get all panicky now because all of this here will go to waste and I really don’t desire to ever hurt a sweet, precious soul like yourself to just keep this whole thing a secret from society for the moment being? All I want is to have you safe and have that feeling to being loved by someone who actually cares about you like me for example, not them who’ll hurt you again and again. If I have to do this in a more then I will just to ensure nothing like this goes out and you being safe...?"

Wide dark, midnight colored eyes stared up at the very same once caring friend’s own who was expressionless like the dead laid out in the folded back tarp now stood upright in all his natural taller, leaner glory well, compared to Tim’s short, soft body appearance. Dreadful sickness was building up to the most discomforting levels ever in the pit to his stomach when slowly with every aching bone in his out of shape body can manage to get away from his demented old college friend. The only light draping across them was the light outside the basement’s slightly open door which with the gentle yet chilly breeze blowing past will surely close it on them leaving only the pitch darkness. No way can he possibly handle being in utter darkness with either the dead or especially, the man himself who done the heinous crimes yet amazingly had appeared to be so nonchalant about it like it was nothing but totally normal. A horrible panic attack was arriving above the horizon as the shorter to the two men began to feel the same fat, ugly tears he had with catching his boyfriend in bed with another man who was meant to be his first best friend but in a more dire situation having him tinkering right in between, dab middle of getting out of here alive or dead under  an old, smelly tarp like the others. 

“... A-Alex... P-p-please, just let m-me go? I. I... I w-won't tell anyone about this like a-at all... I won’t tell J-Ja-Jay or Brian e-even the cops about what y-you did to them... N-not at a-all so, please...” Disgustingly hiccupping like the overweight, emotionally constipated along with being in his self-deprecating opinion an ugly inside and out pig, Tim went haphazardly, mind you to put it out there begging for his very life had depended on it which it did since he was stuck with a infatuated, coldly calculating, murderous maniac who he never ever thought be one despite the crazy antics back in college, “... J-j-just ugh, l-let me go, p-please. I. I w-won't tell anyone, I swear...”

Distraught pleas went blatantly ignored by the old college director who looked like he had some serious ulterior motives then to just downright murder him just like the others laid like used up play things that got on the man’s bad side. On the other hand, Tim somehow who he originally thought never actually got along with the taller man; mostly being at each other’s throats was genuinely being treated to an extent better than the deceased that been given more attention to in the past. One person in particular, he thought Alex would never ever hurt anyone especially her to everyone else with one malice bone in his body but here it is that shook him deep down to his core. Softly with a struggle gulping the warm lump down his crackly dry throat a muffled cry escapes through the tense atmosphere while he rolls over where his back faces the glasses adorned man but like beforehand was made to lay on his back by two feet plopped at each side to him. The man looming above him wasn’t a pretty sight as there was a swift, almost unnoticeable twitch in facial expression in something that can easily, no doubt traumatizes him to the end of time and so on and the afterlife that man come quicker  than expected or really desired for at all.

“That’s the thing, Tim. I do want you to be free to do whatever you please, not some pretty little raven like yourself to be caged up and look pretty but you left me simply no choice? Really, I hate being like this to you...  Y’know controlling as its not idealistic to treat someone so amazing like you in such a degrading manner? Yet I can’t have anything leaking out especially now isn’t the proper time for anyone to know besides just us... So, please be a good friend, keep your nice, soft lips shut just for me, will you, be quiet and maybe I’ll consider possibly letting you go and live your healthiest life without the extra horrible baggage as I really do want that for you alone?"

Even if he may not believe the other entirely the mere thought to escaping this hell hole was way too tempting for him to think about the possibilities it may be a cold, unforgiving lie to be told to him to get his hopes up, “... Y-you will? I. I w-won't, I promise to n-never tell anyone a-about this. I e-even forgive Jay a-and Brian in w-what happened for y-you, I know I w-was overreacting, wasn’t I?  Itsss b-be so, nice to be in Jay’s soothing arms a-again... B-been so f-f-fucking stupid, really to drive h-him away l-like that, huh...?"

Rambling off incoherently like some emotionally driven lunatic with those bubbly, crystal tears clouding his vision to even take notice to how the attention from Alex in an instant shifted right back over to him; cocking his head while making his way to a certain dimly lit corner to the chilled room. Maybe this whole endeavor once again was just a big prank to see him as the mess, he truly was that now moment being the smaller male simply didn’t mind it since he had it sadly, occurred many times before by cold hearted people yet this was the worst by far. Now in the meantime with shaking hands were raised up slowly to wipe the salty tears from his flushed, puffy face as his vision although remaining fading in and out saw the man few feet off to the corner picking up something quite heavy. What it was being an object undeniably so, heavy nonetheless had to be held firmly in two tightly clenched hands where the knuckles were pasty white yet picked up with relative ease it just amazed Tim along in getting him to grow afraid. The item in question that got him to be in cold sweat was a humongous block much bigger than his head made of complete concrete just like the rest to the blood-stained basement so, he couldn’t help to gasp out in muffled terror at the many thoughts. 

“You really want to go back to that man? HIM, after all this fucking shit he put you through in that turmoil of a relationship? What he done to you being so insulting and even unforgivable, I’ll kill him with my bare hands but yourself, you’ll really do such a thing like loving him with your entire heart even if he nor that asshole of a ‘shining star’ of a ‘friend’ doesn’t deserve it? TIMOTHY... For fuck’s sake here, I’m trying to be on your damn side but you’re not making it easy for me to go easy on you like you’re that thick headed despite my best warnings from the get go to not trust those shit heads but no, you can’t do such a simple task without help? But nope; never mind, I guess I’ll have to take that role again in taking the lead and show you the proper way to handle things which I hate doing it in this manner that may... Painful so, bite down on something, okay?”

“W-what?" Tim’s voice strained weakly calls out in honest concern, brows furrowed together whereas his mouth was widely agape staring at the man holstering with some difficulty the concrete block some bit up above, “... C’mon Alex, p-please? You’re my  _ friend _ , after all and y-you should be a. A little more understanding and h-happy for me, right in m-my decisions...?”

“Oh, no. I understand your way of thinking, Tim? I’m now just going to help you and lead you in a better state of thinking where you’ll be heading down the right lane in  finally having a total life of happiness?"

Forcing himself to sit up, Tim was slowly scooting back on his butt away from his not so mentally well friend, he should’ve known better to entirely trust the other in thinking he’ll be able to get out in one manageable piece. Possibly in the end; his life will be drastically cut short literally where nobody like is precious, oblivious Jaybird will ever find his body again or if so, not the whole instead in many cut up pieces. Then once over on repeat the same waterworks were filling up his already irritable red eyes when being forced to still by both the bodies behind him and the man stopping him by a foot carelessly placed on one of his legs. Now he was scared to what was going to happen as he began to squirm helplessly with his hands flailing up in the air towards the taller male. It wasn’t going to be the least bit a pretty picture that like mentioned earlier wasn’t when the stone, cold brick was instantly thrown downwards that in a flash like swiftly blinking lights the sounds to bones utterly breaking the shattering in to a million pieces made Tim feel dizzy. His deep voice somehow cracks in the highest pitch imaginable at the excruciating pain was something he couldn’t even handle it entirely at once so, when Alex move to the other leg, not yet broken, he was swaying in then out back and forth into consciousness until finally passing out the pitch, black darkness, he despises with his whole heart.


End file.
